Renowned choreographer and dancer Shakti Mohan recently opened up about the pervasive issue of harassment she faced growing up, including eve-teasing and molestation. Mohan disclosed that these traumatic experiences were not limited to strangers but also involved relatives, a reality she described as common for many women.
Daily Harassment During College Commutes
Mohan recounted her college years at Miranda House as particularly challenging, describing daily commutes by university bus as "extremely traumatic." She detailed instances of unwanted stares and physical contact. "Even stepping out of the house after 7 pm felt unsafe," she stated, emphasizing that harassment occurred both day and night. She expressed gratitude for returning home safely each day, hearing stories of other girls being pulled into cars or assaulted.
Family Response and Helplessness
Her sister, a significant figure in her life, advised her and her siblings to stare back at harassers, even once slapping a man on a bus. Despite this, Mohan lamented the constant vigilance required of women. "It's terrible how women have to live like this," she commented, noting their financial inability to avoid public transport at the time. She admitted to feeling immense anger and helplessness, wishing to confront perpetrators who often seemed unaffected by their actions.
Challenging Victim-Blaming and Societal Norms
Mohan strongly refuted the notion of victim-blaming, highlighting that her college attire, often a full kurta-pyjama with a shawl, did not prevent harassment. "If you want to blame someone else for your actions, that's cowardly. It's not about clothes," she asserted. She also criticized the societal disparity in upbringing, where girls are taught exhaustive rules about conduct, while boys often lack education on consent and boundaries. "If that mindset doesn't change, nothing else will," she emphasized.
Molestation by Trusted Relatives
A particularly painful revelation involved molestation by relatives. Mohan explained that these incidents occurred multiple times and in different places. She was too young to fully comprehend the gravity of what happened at the time, only realizing the wrongfulness years later in college. "And this was someone we trusted completely—someone my parents trusted," she recalled.
Delayed Realization and Cutting Contact
Mohan never directly informed her mother about the molestation, fearing her reaction and what could be done. Instead, she confided in her elder sister, who also shared similar experiences, as did other sisters and female cousins. This collective realization brought immense anger and shock. Unable to confront the perpetrators directly due to the passage of time and the complexities of familial relationships, they ultimately chose to cut contact with those individuals. Mohan acknowledged that her mother, like many, would have prioritized family reputation, advising caution rather than confrontation.
Mumbai vs. North India: A Cultural Shift
Reflecting on geographical differences, Mohan noted a stark contrast in her experiences. She felt harassment was more prevalent in North India, while moving to Mumbai brought a greater sense of safety and comfort. She attributes this to Mumbai's distinct culture, which fosters a stronger sense of mutual respect between men and women.