In a deeply personal revelation, Sonia Gandhi has opened up for the first time about the heartbreaking loss of her first child, a son who died just a day after his premature birth in 1969. Her memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, offers an intimate look into a tragedy that preceded the birth of her second child, Rahul Gandhi.
The eagerly anticipated news of Sonia Gandhi's pregnancy in September 1968 brought immense joy to the Gandhi household. However, this happiness was short-lived. On January 18, 1969, she gave birth to a baby boy, two months ahead of her due date.
A Brief Glimmer of Hope
Gandhi recalls hearing her baby's first cry as he was placed in an incubator. Accompanied by her husband, Rajiv Gandhi, she saw their son—a tiny, perfectly formed boy with thick, black hair and slim fingers. She writes of falling instantly in love with him, a sentiment shared by Rajiv.
Despite this initial joy, doubts about the infant's survival soon emerged. Rajiv gently delivered the devastating news to Sonia at 6:30 AM the following morning: their baby had passed away. Both were left shocked and heartbroken, weeping together in their grief.
Indira Gandhi's Shared Sorrow
Amie Crishna, a member of Indira Gandhi's staff, was present during this difficult time. Upon hearing the news, Indira Gandhi, who was away, immediately cut short her trip to be with her son and daughter-in-law. She embraced them, her eyes red and swollen, and stayed for a long time, sharing in their profound sorrow. Indira had also eagerly anticipated the child's arrival.
The Dilemma of Last Rites
The family then faced a difficult decision regarding the baby's last rites. Hindu tradition dictates that a newborn cannot be cremated, and the option of releasing the child into a river was considered. However, the thought of this brought back a distressing memory for Sonia Gandhi, who had once seen a body in the Okhla barrage, scavenged by dogs. She firmly refused to allow her baby to be subjected to such a fate, finding the idea alien and heartless.
Ultimately, a decision was made to bury the child on Feroze Gandhi's farm in Mehrauli. Rajiv and his brother Sanjay buried the little one deep under a beautiful, blooming pink bougainvillea bush. For a long time afterward, the couple would pause at the spot and place a flower there, a small gesture that did little to assuage their deep pain but offered a way to accept the inevitable.
Coping with Loss and Insensitivity
The trauma of losing her first child left Sonia Gandhi feeling depressed, inadequate, and guilty. Adding to her anguish, a right-wing opposition paper published a cruel article, accusing Indira Gandhi of failing to become the grandmother of a “bastard child.” Sonia Gandhi remembers the venom of these words scarring her heart, compounding her heartbreak and feelings of inadequacy.
With time, the cloud of sorrow began to lift. In October of the same year, Sonia shared with Rajiv the news that she was pregnant again. Filled with both thrill and anxiety, she gave birth to Rahul Gandhi on June 19, 1970.