Jasveer Singh, co-founder and CEO of KnotDating, has urged Indian parents to reconsider the financial strain of sending their children to overly expensive schools. In a recent statement, Singh articulated concerns that while parents focus on school facilities and fees, children inevitably compare their family's financial standing with their peers, potentially causing significant emotional distress.
The Hidden Cost of Comparison in Expensive Schools
Singh highlighted a crucial distinction: "Parents compare schools. Kids compare themselves with other kids. That’s the part parents completely miss." He explained that a parent might feel they are providing their child with more than they can afford, yet the child often perceives their situation as less than what their classmates possess.
This dynamic, according to Singh, can lead to children feeling financially inadequate. He elaborated, "The parent thinks, I gave my child more than I could afford. The child thinks, My parents gave me less than everyone around me. Both can experience the exact same childhood and remember it completely differently."
Beyond Fees: Everyday Comparisons
The CEO pointed out that these comparisons extend far beyond just school fees. Children observe differences in cars, clothing, food, social activities, and even seemingly minor items like lunch boxes, shoes, birthday parties, pocket money, and school trips.
Singh offered a vivid example: "Now imagine those kids are being picked up in BMWs and your child is being picked up in a Maruti. Your child may tell you - ‘Papa, don't bring the car to the school gate, park a little further away I'll walk there’." This behavior stems from a desire to avoid embarrassment and the perception that their family "doesn't have money." Before entering such an environment, the child might never have considered their family's car or lifestyle embarrassing.
The Impact on Children's Social Behavior
Children rarely articulate their financial discomfort directly. Instead, they often withdraw or make excuses to avoid situations where they feel different or inferior. "Your child doesn’t necessarily say - My parents can’t afford this, He says I don’t want to go. I don’t like that restaurant or I already ate. I don’t want to come to the birthday party," Singh noted.
This pattern of hiding and excuse-making can be misinterpreted by parents as introversion, when in reality, the child is protecting themselves from situations they cannot afford. This can lead to feelings of inferiority and impact their social development.
Redefining the Value of Education
Singh concluded his remarks by emphasizing that true education transcends mere fees and fancy infrastructure. "Education is not about school fees or fancy infrastructure. It’s about building confidence, exploring yourself and uplifting yourself," he stated, advocating for an approach to schooling that prioritizes a child's holistic development and self-esteem over perceived social status or material comparisons.